Daily Haterade: Aaron Ekblad

Aaron Ekblad is only easy to hate because of that infamous fine line

I find it really hard to justify hating anyone on the Florida Panthers. They’ve currently beaten the Buffalo Sabres and the Colordado Avalanche, which doesn’t really say anything about the Florida Panthers beyond the fact that they aren’t an AHL team masquerading in the National Hockey League. You go, Florida.

If I had to pick someone to hate, though, it would undoubtedly be Aaron Eklbad. Let’s talk about this big ol’ liar.

First off, there’s no way this guy is eighteen.

I have twin eighteen year old brothers, and Ekblad looks like he could be their father. He somehow managed to be eligible for this particular draft class, though, making everyone who got drafted after him look like children. It was a little unfair, particularly when you think about the fact that Johnny Hockey is, according to the age Ekblad claims he is, nearly four years the defenseman’s senior.

LOL EKBLAD COULD EAT JOHNNY GAUDREAU FOR BREAKFAST. WHAT IS THIS LIE.

Beyond that, Ekblad is only the second player to be granted exceptional status by the OHL. The first, as many of us already know, was John Tavares. I’m pretty sure that Tavares is actually a superhuman deity, so it makes sense that he got to play at fifteen.

I’ve seen videos of Ekblad at fifteen, though. He’s not only bigger and faster than everyone else on the ice, he’s smarter. Clearly some age-fudging going on here.

This is a video from before Ekblad’s OHL entry draft. Are you telling me this kid was fifteen? Whatever they’re feeding kids up in Canada, it’s clearly working. Is he eating bears?

Second, he’s unfairly good at every part of the game.

I’m all for sending your youngest players back down to the juniors for a couple of years, just because it usually helps more than it hurts.

So far this season, though, Ekblad has two assists in his four games with the Panthers. Last year, he scored 23 goals with the Barrie Colts.

HE’S A DEFENSEMAN.

I find this unfair in a plethora of ways, mostly because I’m still waiting for Sam Gagner to score his first goal- or record his first assist- and he’s actually on the ice to do so. The Coyotes haven’t tanked badly enough to be in contention for guys like Ekblad, and it makes me resent them that much more.

The Panthers have another five games to determine whether they want to keep Ekblad on the team, per the current CBA. I’m rooting for this if only because I think it will make them just good enough to keep them from tanking for Connor McDavid, which would cause me to have the biggest meltdown of the century. You’re not allowed to have man-crusher Ekblad AND eight-million-points-a-season McDavid. It’s not allowed. No.

My big prediction for tonight is that Ekblad will score his first goal of the season. I hate this, and I hate him for it, but really I cannot stop obsessing over him and am excited to watch him play. It’s a real problem.

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