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Daily Haterade: Mike Ribeiro Edition

By Catherine Silverman

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I’m a professional who loves to professionally troll, so let’s talk for a minute about Mike Ribeiro.

I can never tell if the guy’s attractive or just kind of emaciated looking, but he oozes ‘bad news’. While some girls like this, I would much rather ride off into the sunset with Mikkel Boedker, who pulls his best friend around in a toy wagon. Sue me.

Oct 17, 2014; Winnipeg, Manitoba, CAN; Nashville Predators forward Mike Ribeiro (63) celebrates a Nashville goal on Winnipeg Jets goalie Ondrej Pavelec (31) during the third period at the MTS Centre. Nashville wins 2-0. Mandatory Credit: Bruce Fedyck-USA TODAY Sports

The guy’s apparently pretty good at hockey, but has some behavioral issues he needs to work out? Seems fair enough, since he’s on his third team in three seasons.

Before his cross-country tour, Ribeiro played for the Dallas Stars for six years, and the Montreal Candiens for six prior to that. This automatically leaves a bad taste in my mouth, because the Habs. Hate ’em.

Aside from my wildly unsupported prejudice, Ribsy is apparently a pretty good hockey player, if a tad on the wild side. He’s a consistent 15-to-30 goal scorer, although the whole ‘you never know what you’re gonna get’ thing isn’t exactly my cup of tea. This is hockey, not Forrest Gump.

So far this season, the Nashville Predators have been able to coax some good numbers out of the french Canadian Eminem,which is nice. He’s got three points in five games- which is so cool, because that suggests that the forward could be on lock to score at least fifteen more goals than he did last year. Life isn’t fair, Arizona.

Of course, I love that Ribeiro has more Twitter drama than the Kardashians. The tweet is gone, but this is the quote from his wife’s rant back when he failed to get a five-year deal from the Capitals:

"Nothing like being uprooted from your home for a year for absolutely no apparent reason. #pissedbeyondbelief— Tamara W Ribeiro (@Angeltw3) July 1, 2013"

Luckily, because I’m on a roll with the Ribeiro roast here, tweets about the shots Don Maloney fired during the buyout this summer still exist:

Reports are circulating that Ribeiro is excited to play the Coyotes tonight, which makes me terrified that he wants to record a hat trick. PLS DON’T DO THIS 2 MEH MIKE.

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