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Players We Love To Hate: Tyler Seguin

By Catherine Silverman

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There is so little to hate about the Dallas Stars right now, so we picked Tyler Seguin. 

Last year, there was a lot to hate about the Dallas Stars. TWO POINTS AND IT COULD HAVE BEEN US. TWO POINTS.

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    • This year, there’s not much that we can confidently roast, though. The team has lost their past seven consecutive contests, and currently post the second worst goals against average in the league. IN THE LEAGUE. They’ve got the worst record in the Western Conference.

    I almost feel bad making even the lightest fun of anything Dallas Stars-related… that team is a sad state of affairs.

    Do you know who I don’t feel sorry for, though?

    Tyler Seguin.

    What’s the over/under on Tyler Seguin bringing his teammates out to the club before every game, even though they clearly cannot hang?

    Come on, Tyler. You know better than that.

    Seguin’s hat trick against the San Jose Sharks was his fifth in just over a single season, which suggests that the 22-year-old center is stupidly good, and clearly needs to be stopped- for his own good, of course.

    God, what a beatiful goal scorer. Anyways, back to what I was saying.

    Seguin? We have got to hate him.

    The guy spent his summer crowding as many bikini-clad girls as he could onto a boat, and yet he’s still the only bright spot on a collapsing team. If anything, he’s playing like the spent the summer at the rink, and everyone else on the team sailed around the world on the S.S. Booze. How?

    I hate people who don’t take their jobs seriously, but are tremendously good at them anyway. It’s an irrational hatred, but so be it.

    I hate them even more, though, when they’re the only good thing in a giant pile of bad. Taylor Hall? Don’t like him. Evander Kane? I don’t necessarily like him either. Tyler Seguin? Join the club.

    The Stars have no defense and no consistent goaltending, but hey- at least they have an Instagram star!

    I would love to see Shane Doan board the crap out of Tyler on Tuesday, then do ‘The Selfie’ over him, a la J.J. Watt.

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